Humor Quotes

I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

I am an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way.

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

I used to jog, but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

Humor is reason gone mad.

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

A day without laughter is a day wasted.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.

Humor is just another defense against the universe.