Humor Quotes

I am an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way.

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

I used to jog, but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

Humor is reason gone mad.

The smile is the shortest distance between two persons.

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.