School Jokes

61

My son's teacher sent a note saying he 'asked why the homework is due on Monday if we're not in school until Tuesday.' I called and said, 'And what did you tell him?' She said, 'I said, Because the weekend is for rest, not for you to exist.' He said, 'But I was resting.'

33

My daughter came home and said, 'My teacher said I write with passion.' I said, 'That's a compliment!' She said, 'Yeah, but she also said and also a lot of extra ink. I think she meant the same thing.'

46

My son's teacher sent a note saying he 'needs to work on following directions.' I called and said, 'What are the directions?' She said, 'Sit down, open your book to page forty-two, and write the answer to number seven.' I said, 'And did he do that?' She said, 'Yes. But he did it while standing on his chair, eating a granola bar, and humming a song at full volume.'

54

My daughter came home and said her teacher told the class, 'If you don't know the answer, you can always say you'll look it up.' My daughter said, 'I said that to every single question.' The teacher said, 'That's fine, but you also said it to the question What is two plus two, and then added I'll look it up in a different universe.'

57

My daughter said her teacher told the class, 'Children who are disruptive will have to sit in the back.' My daughter raised her hand and said, 'I'm not disruptive, I'm just enthusiastic.' The teacher said, 'Enthusiastic is a form of disruptive.' My daughter said, 'Then I'm a very enthusiastic disruptor.'

30

My son said his teacher told the class, 'If you don't understand the assignment, raise your hand.' He raised his hand. She said, 'Great. Now do the assignment.' He said, 'I still don't understand the assignment.' She said, 'Then raise your hand again.'

46

My son's teacher called to say he 'asked a question that made the whole class stop talking.' I said, 'That's incredible! What did he ask?' She said, 'The lesson was about fractions. He asked, So if I eat half a sandwich, is the other half still a sandwich? Or is it now a leftover sandwich? Because I feel like the sandwich is grieving.'

13

My daughter's teacher called to say she 'solved a problem before the class was finished.' I said, 'That's amazing! What was the problem?' She said, 'She solved the problem of not having to do the problem. She put the worksheet in her backpack and said, I did it in my head.'

64

My son's teacher called and said, 'He's a very physical learner.'

17

My daughter came home and said her teacher told the class, 'If a math problem seems too hard, try breaking it into smaller steps.'

55

My son's teacher sent home a note saying he 'needs to learn to share the crayons with his classmates.'

38

My daughter came home and said her teacher asked the class to 'write a letter to someone who inspired them.'

81

My daughter's teacher called to say she 'asked a very thoughtful question during the lesson.' I said, 'That's great, what was it?' She said, 'Her lesson was about the water cycle. She asked, "So does the cloud get sad when it rains?"'

52

My son's teacher called to say he 'dominates the group work.' I said, 'That's wonderful, is he a natural leader?' She said, 'No. He's the only one who does anything.'

62

My daughter's teacher called to say she was 'very opinionated about classroom arrangements.' I said, 'That's... a lot for a seven-year-old.'