School Jokes

55

My son came home and said, 'Teacher told me to stay in my lane.' I said, 'That's a driving thing.' He said, 'No. I was in the reading corner and I walked over to the block table. Teacher said I left my lane.' I said, 'That's not a lane, that's a room.' He said, 'To her, it is. She has a map. And I am not on it.'

67

My daughter came home and said, 'Teacher made us write about a time we overcame a challenge.' I said, 'That's great, what did you write?' She said, 'I wrote about the time the cafeteria replaced the chicken nuggets with fish sticks and I survived. I even ate two. I am a warrior.'

69

My daughter came home and said, 'Teacher said I should use my words, not my hands.' I said, 'That's great. What did you do?'

54

My son came home and said, 'Teacher said I should embrace the process.' I said, 'That's great. What was the process?'

75

My son came home and said, 'Teacher said I should take ownership of my learning.'

36

My daughter came home and said, 'Teacher said I have excellent handwriting for a kid who writes in pencil.'

33

My daughter came home and said, 'Teacher made us write a letter to a historical figure.' I said, 'Who did you write to?'

32

My son came home and said, 'Teacher made us do a peer review.' I said, 'That's great, what did you review?'

25

My son's teacher sent a note saying he 'demonstrated impressive spatial reasoning during the block activity.' I called and said, 'That's wonderful! What did he build?'

67

My kid came home and said, 'Teacher said I'm a natural leader.' I said, 'That's wonderful! What did you lead?'

52

My son came home and said, 'Teacher made us do a book report.' I said, 'What book?' He said, 'I didn't read it.' I said, 'Then what'd you do?' He said, 'I read the first page, the last page, and the part where the main character's name is mentioned. That's the whole story. The middle is just the character walking around.'

70

My daughter came home and said, 'Teacher said I have a gift for storytelling.' I asked what story she told. She said, 'I told the class that the homework was a crocodile and it ate the worksheet. Teacher said I have a gift. Then she asked me to do the worksheet again.'

53

My son came home and said, 'Teacher made us do a group project and I was in charge of the important part.' I said, 'That's great! What was the important part?' He said, 'Holding the glue.'

66

My daughter came home and said, 'Teacher said I should expand my vocabulary. She told me to use the word "furthermore" instead of "and also also also."' I said, 'And did you?'

72

My kid's class did a show and tell day. He brought in a rock. The teacher said, 'Tell the class about your rock.' He said, 'This is a rock. It was a rock yesterday and it will be a rock tomorrow. I found it on the ground. The ground had it. I took it.'