Random Jokes

12

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

62

My daughter's teacher called to say she was 'very opinionated about classroom arrangements.' I said, 'That's... a lot for a seven-year-old.'

71

I'm at the age where my back goes out more than I do.

30

Why did the piggy bank go to therapy?

70

Why did the student get sent to the principal's office for a geography lesson?

30

What do you call a fake noodle?

66

My coworker said he was going to quit his job as a baker.

38

I tried to start a band called 'The Quiet Ones.'

9

What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?

18

I asked the flight attendant what time we land.

59

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his belt. The bartender asks about it.

49

I went to the doctor because I kept hearing voices.

21

Why don't mountains ever get cold?

41

A talking horse walks into a bar.

36

A man walks into the doctor's office with a piece of lettuce sticking out of his ear.