Dating Jokes

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My friend said, 'On our date, she asked me what I do on a Sunday.' I said, 'What did you say?' He said, 'I said, I sleep in. I make coffee. I read. She said, That sounds so peaceful. And I said, Yeah, it's basically just lying in bed with a book and a mug. And she said, That's so cozy!'

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My friend said, 'On our second date, he asked me what I thought about the first one.' I said, 'And?' He said, 'I said, I think we have good chemistry. He said, Me too. And then he said, So, where do you want to go for the third one? Like we already agreed to a third one. Like the second one was a formality. Like the third one is the real one and the second one was just the paperwork.'

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My friend said, 'My date asked me, What's your red flag? I said, I don't know, what's yours? She said, I don't know, what's yours? We went back and forth for eleven minutes.'

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My friend said, 'On our second date, he said he's really into intellectual conversations. Deep talks. Philosophy. I said, Cool, what do you think about free will?'

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My friend said, 'On our date, she asked me what I'm passionate about.' I said, 'What did you say?'

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My friend said, 'On our date, he asked what my ideal weekend looks like.' I said, 'What did you say?'

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My friend said, 'On our date, she asked what I do in my free time. I said I read, I cook, I go for walks.' I said, 'That's a good answer. And?' He said, 'She said, Oh, I love that I'm also a reader. And then she asked if I had a dog.'

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On our first date, she said, 'I'm really into spontaneous adventures. Like, I'll text at 11 PM and say, Let's go to the airport. And you just... go.' I said, 'I would need a destination.'

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My friend said, 'On our date, he said he's really go-with-the-flow. Very easygoing.' I said, 'That's a nice quality. Where did you end up?'

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My friend said, 'On our date, she told me she's really adventurous. She loves trying new things.' I said, 'That's exciting. What did you try?'

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My friend said, 'My date asked me, What's your dealbreaker?' I said, 'That's a loaded question. What did you say?' He said, 'I said, Chewing with your mouth open. She said, Oh, that's so specific.' I said, 'It's not specific. It's universal. I will date a man who is late. I will date a man who doesn't text back. But the chewing.'

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My friend said, 'My date asked me what I value most in a relationship.' I said, 'What did you say?' He said, 'I said punctuality.' She said, 'That's... specific.'

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My friend said, "So, did you ask her out?" I said, "I did. We set a time and a place."

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My friend said, "So how was the blind date?" I said, "She was great. We talked for two hours."

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My friend said, 'How was your first date?' I said, 'She asked me what my love language is. I said, I don't know, what's a love language? She said, Do you like words of affirmation? Quality time? Acts of service?'