My friend said, 'On our date, she asked me if I had any red flags.' I said, 'And what did you say?' He said, 'I said, I'm a little disorganized. She said, That's a red flag. I said, I also leave my keys in weird places. She said, Another red flag. I said, I once microwaved a metal spoon. She said, That's not a red flag. That's a whole flag. That's a flag with a flag on it. That's a flag parade. I said, You're not supposed to count them. You're supposed to notice them. She said, I am noticing them. I'm just doing it with enthusiasm. I said, That's not how red flags work. You're supposed to be quietly concerned. She was doing a cheerleading routine with my character flaws.'