Dating Jokes

59

On our fourth date, he said, 'I really admire that you have your own life.'

18

On our second date, she said, 'I really like that you remember small details.'

71

On our third date, she said, 'I really like that you're not a people pleaser.' I said, 'Thank you. I have strong opinions about where we eat, what we watch, and whether the restaurant has a menu or a chef's surprise that's just a salad with a name in French.' She said, 'That's not being a non-pleaser, that's just having preferences.'

84

On our seventh date, she said, 'I really like that you're not intimidated by my career.' I said, 'Of course not. I'm not intimidated by your career. I'm intimidated by your calendar. You have a meeting at 7:15, a call at 8, a quick sync at 8:30, and then you're available at 9.' She said, 'That's just how work is.'

34

On our sixth date, he said, 'I really admire people who have a sense of humor.' I laughed. He said, 'That's the first time you've laughed all date. I appreciate the commitment to the bit.' I said, 'I wasn't committed to a bit. I was genuinely amused.'

82

On our fifth date, he said, 'I really like that you're not afraid to be yourself.' I said, 'Thank you. I've been working on it.' He said, 'What do you mean, working on it?' I said, 'The not-afraid part is new. The being-myself part has been going for thirty-four years.'

46

On our fourth date, she said, 'I really appreciate that you always text me a good morning message.' I said, 'Yeah, I do. It's the one thing I do before I've had coffee, so I'm basically texting on pure survival instinct.'

8

On our third date, she told me she was 'really into guys who are consistent.' I said, 'I'm very consistent. Every single Tuesday I forget to bring a jacket.' She said, 'That's not consistent, that's a pattern of forgetting.' I said, 'It's consistent forgetting. Same day, same result. Very reliable.'

29

On our second date, he told me he was 'really into women who are organized.' I said, 'I color-code my spice rack.' He said, 'That's... a lot.' I said, 'I also have a color-coded system for how I arrange the spice rack. The color-coding has its own color-coding.'

25

On our second date, he told me he was 'really into women who are independent.'

68

On our first date, she told me she was 'really into guys who are decisive.'

10

She told me she was 'really into guys who are adventurous.'

19

On our first date, he told me he was 'really into spontaneity.'

47

On our second date, he told me he was 'the kind of guy who remembers small details.' I said, 'That's sweet.' He said, 'You said you were allergic to shellfish on our first date. I made sure the restaurant has no shrimp in the kitchen.'

57

On our third date, she told me she was 'really into guys who are emotionally available.' I said, 'I'm very emotionally available. I cried during a car commercial last week.' She said, 'That's... a start.'