I booked a 'rustic mountain cabin' for the weekend. The listing said 'cozy, secluded, close to nature.' I arrived. The cabin was a shed. The 'cozy' was that it was so small I could touch both walls. The 'secluded' was that the nearest neighbor was a bear that had been sitting on the porch for three days. The 'close to nature' was that nature was inside the cabin. There was a beetle on the pillow. I said, 'Is the beetle included in the rate?'