Travel Jokes

24

I told my travel buddy, 'Let's go to a bed and breakfast.' We found one. The bed was in the living room. The breakfast was a single muffin and a carton of juice on the kitchen counter. The breakfast was already gone by the time we sat down.

58

I booked a 'rustic cabin' for the weekend. The door didn't have a lock, the stove was a campfire in a metal bowl, and the 'hot water' was a bucket you heated over the same fire. I asked the owner, 'Is there Wi-Fi?'

68

My travel buddy said, 'Let's go to a local vineyard.' We drove for an hour. The vineyard was a single building with a sign that said Vineyard. Inside was a table, two chairs, a bottle of wine, and a man who said, You're early. The tour starts at four. It was two. My buddy said, This is the vineyard? The man said, This is the waiting room. The vineyard is the field outside. You can look at it from the chair. He pointed at a window. Through the window, there was a field. My buddy said, I paid forty dollars for a window seat to a field. The man said, The field is organic.

64

My travel buddy said, 'Let's take a food tour of the city.' We took a food tour. It was a bus. The bus stopped at a restaurant. We got off. We ate a sandwich. We got back on the bus. The bus drove past the restaurant. My buddy said, 'That was the tour.' I said, 'We ate one sandwich on a bus.' He said, 'And we experienced the journey.'

84

My travel buddy said, 'I want to take a cooking class.' We signed up. The kitchen was the size of a closet. There were eight of us. The instructor said, 'Today we make pasta.' I looked at the counter. There was one pot. One. For eight people.

82

I told my travel buddy, 'Let's find a local bakery.' We found one. It had one shelf. On the shelf were four croissants, a loaf of bread, and a small sign that said, 'The rest of the pastries went to a meeting and won't be back until Thursday.'

72

I checked into a hotel and there was a Welcome card on the bed. I picked it up. Underneath was a single, slightly damp napkin.

7

I told my travel buddy, 'Let's try the local market.' We walked in. There were four stalls.

30

My travel buddy said, 'I want to try the local street food.' We found a vendor. He had one item. A skewer. It was a piece of something that was brown.

21

I told my travel buddy, 'Let's go to a quiet beach for the day.' We found a beach. It was quiet. Too quiet. No vendors, no music, no waves with any enthusiasm. Just sand and one seagull that looked personally offended by our presence.

55

I checked into a hotel and the Wi-Fi password was 'Welcome123.' I tried it. Didn't work. I called the front desk. The woman said, 'Is the W capitalized?'

76

I told my travel buddy, 'Let's take the scenic route.' We drove for four hours. The scenery was a field. The same field. It had a fence.

20

I told my travel buddy, 'Let's find a hidden gem.' We found a restaurant. It was in a basement. The menu was handwritten on a napkin. The waiter spoke in a language we didn't understand. The food arrived in a pot with no lid. We ate with our hands because there were no utensils. My buddy said, 'This is the hidden gem.'

61

My travel buddy said, 'I want to experience the local nightlife.' We were in a town of four hundred people. The nightlife was a man outside a diner eating a hot dog at 11 PM. My buddy said, 'This is the nightlife?'

56

My travel buddy said, 'I want to really immerse myself in the local culture.' We sat down at a restaurant and he ordered the local specialty. A bowl arrived. It was making a low, steady hum. He looked at me. I said, 'That's the culture.' He said, 'The culture is vibrating in my soup.'