Money Jokes

27

I told my kid I was 'investing in the future' by buying a new vacuum cleaner. He looked at me and said, 'That's not the future. That's the carpet. And the carpet already exists.'

52

My kid asked why we can't buy the two-hundred-dollar toy. I said, 'Because money doesn't grow on trees.' He pointed at my wallet.

63

I tried to follow the 'pay yourself first' money advice and started transferring my entire checking balance to savings before paying any bills.

66

I asked my accountant if there was a tax loophole for buying too many books.

64

My credit card company sent me a gift for reaching my spending limit.

61

I tried to invest in a lemonade stand because the returns looked promising.

59

My bank account sent me an apology letter for being empty.

40

My credit card company called to ask why my spending was so low this month.

48

My financial advisor asked if I knew the difference between saving and investing.

51

I started a savings account by putting one penny in every day without fail.

69

I bought a piggy bank that promised to double whatever money I put inside it.

48

My financial advisor told me to save money by cutting out coffee.

39

My bank manager called to ask why my account balance had dropped so suddenly last week.

77

My credit card bill arrived with a note saying 'You're spending on us.'

28

I asked my accountant if there was any way to make my taxes disappear completely.