One-Liner Jokes

37

My four-year-old asked me why we say 'I'm five minutes away' when we're clearly not. I said, 'It's a polite way of saying I'm not there yet.' He said, 'So it's a lie.' I said, 'It's a... negotiation.' He said, 'I'm going to use that at school.'

64

My kid asked me why we call it a 'self-checkout' when the self part is clearly optional and the checkout part is clearly not. I said, 'I don't know, buddy.' He said, 'That's what I told the machine when it asked for my receipt. It's still asking.'