28MoneyI told my financial advisor I wanted to 'diversify my portfolio.' He said, 'Great. What do you currently have?' I said, 'A sandwich in the fridge that's been there since Tuesday and a twelve-dollar Amazon gift card.'Show PunchlineShare
84MoneyI tried to save money by only buying items that were half off at the store.Show PunchlineShare
84MoneyMy friend said, 'I finally stopped impulse buying.' I said, 'That's great! What was the last thing you impulse-bought?'Show PunchlineShare
83MoneyMy friend said, 'I finally figured out my budget.' I said, 'That's great! What's the breakdown?' He said, 'I have a column for bills, a column for food, and a column called I don't know where this went. The third column is the biggest by far.' I said, 'That's not a budget, that's a crime scene.'Show PunchlineShare
Joke Café