33One-LinersI told my wife I was going to 'just be in the background tonight.' She said, 'Great, you can be the background of the family photo.' I said, 'I'd rather be in the foreground.' She said, 'No. You're the blur on the left edge.'Show PunchlineShare
83One-LinersMy toddler looked at me and said, 'You look tired.' I said, 'Thanks, buddy.' He said, 'No, I'm not complimenting you. I'm reporting an observation.'Show PunchlineShare
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