23One-LinersMy coworker said, 'I'm a morning person.' I said, 'That's great.' He said, 'I mean, I'm awake in the morning. I'm not necessarily productive. I'm just vertically oriented and not in bed. I look at things. I blink. I occasionally make coffee.'Show PunchlineShare
83One-LinersMy toddler looked at me and said, 'You look tired.' I said, 'Thanks, buddy.' He said, 'No, I'm not complimenting you. I'm reporting an observation.'Show PunchlineShare