0One-LinersMy five-year-old asked, 'Dad, what does "I'll look into it" mean?' I said, 'It means I'm going to pretend I'm going to do something.' He said, 'So it's a lie?' I said, 'It's a professional lie. A lie with a business suit on.'Show PunchlineShare
84One-LinersMy kid asked, 'Dad, why do you say "one more episode" when you've already said it four times?' I said, 'Because each one is a new episode.' He said, 'It's the same episode. You said it at the top of the show, at the commercial, at the middle, and at the end. That's not four episodes, that's one episode with four lies.'Show PunchlineShare
83One-LinersMy toddler looked at me and said, 'You look tired.' I said, 'Thanks, buddy.' He said, 'No, I'm not complimenting you. I'm reporting an observation.'Show PunchlineShare
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