My friend said, 'I finally started a budget.' I said, 'How's it going?' He said, 'I have a spreadsheet. The spreadsheet has columns. The columns have categories. The categories have numbers. The numbers don't match the numbers in my bank account. But the spreadsheet is very organized. The categories are color-coded. The budget is beautiful. The budget is a work of art. I just can't find the money in it.'