18

My kid asked, 'Dad, why do you say "we'll do it together" when you clearly mean "I'll do it and you'll watch"?' I said, 'That IS doing it together. You're witnessing.' He said, 'That's not together. That's an audience. I'm not part of the activity. I'm part of the front row.'

Related Jokes

84

I'm not a big fan of elevators.

84

I'm reading a book about the history of glue.

84

My kid asked, 'Dad, why do you say "one more episode" when you've already said it four times?' I said, 'Because each one is a new episode.' He said, 'It's the same episode. You said it at the top of the show, at the commercial, at the middle, and at the end. That's not four episodes, that's one episode with four lies.'

84

My friend told me I was delusional.

83

Why are elevator jokes so good?

83

My toddler looked at me and said, 'You look tired.' I said, 'Thanks, buddy.' He said, 'No, I'm not complimenting you. I'm reporting an observation.'