69FamilyMy kid asked me, 'Dad, why do you always say I'm in the kitchen when I call for you?' I said, 'Because I'm not in the kitchen. I'm in the hallway. But I'm explaining why.'Show PunchlineShare
84FamilyI replaced my alarm clock with one that plays heavy metal music on weekends.Show PunchlineShare
83FamilyWe tried to celebrate Father's Day by giving Dad a gift that required no batteries.Show PunchlineShare
83FamilyMy wife told me to 'plan a date night' and I said, 'Sure, what do you want to do?'Show PunchlineShare