43

My wife told me she wants to go on a romantic weekend where we do nothing but stare at each other.

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I went on a date with someone who said they were terrible at giving directions.

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I went on a date with a calendar.

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I told my date I was a good dancer.

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My date told me she was 'a very low-maintenance person.' I said, 'That's great, I'm the same.' She said, 'I don't need much. Just a guy who remembers what I said in the first five minutes of the conversation.'

82

I told my date I collect mummies.

81

My date asked what I do for fun.