71

On our third date, she said, 'I really like that you're not a people pleaser.' I said, 'Thank you. I have strong opinions about where we eat, what we watch, and whether the restaurant has a menu or a chef's surprise that's just a salad with a name in French.' She said, 'That's not being a non-pleaser, that's just having preferences.'

Related Jokes

84

On our seventh date, she said, 'I really like that you're not intimidated by my career.' I said, 'Of course not. I'm not intimidated by your career. I'm intimidated by your calendar. You have a meeting at 7:15, a call at 8, a quick sync at 8:30, and then you're available at 9.' She said, 'That's just how work is.'

83

I went on a date with someone who said they were terrible at giving directions.

83

I went on a date with a calendar.

82

On our fifth date, he said, 'I really like that you're not afraid to be yourself.' I said, 'Thank you. I've been working on it.' He said, 'What do you mean, working on it?' I said, 'The not-afraid part is new. The being-myself part has been going for thirty-four years.'

82

I told my date I was a good dancer.

82

My date told me she was 'a very low-maintenance person.' I said, 'That's great, I'm the same.' She said, 'I don't need much. Just a guy who remembers what I said in the first five minutes of the conversation.'