34

My doctor told me to avoid stressful situations if I wanted to live longer.

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What did the left eye say to the right eye?

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I went to the doctor and told him I had a ringing in my ears.

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says, 'Doctor, I broke my arm in two places.'

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A man walks into the doctor's office with a piece of lettuce sticking out of his ear.

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I went to the doctor and told him I felt like a pair of curtains.

80

Patient: Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains.