Animals Jokes

25

My neighbor's dog has a job. Every morning at 7, he marches to the back door, sits, and stares at the mail carrier.

50

My neighbor's parrot learned to say 'the check engine light is on.' Every time she drives past our house, it screams it at the top of its lungs. She called me and said, 'I don't know why it does that. I've checked the car three times.'

44

My neighbor's cat has developed a habit of sitting on the warm spot on the kitchen tile and staring at the wall. I asked if something's wrong. She said, 'No, he's just watching the wall. He's been doing it for three years.'

25

My neighbor's goldfish has a little name tag tied to its bowl. It says 'Steve.' I asked if it's a new fish. She said, 'No, Steve has been here for four years.'

70

My neighbor's new beagle has a designated 'complaint chair' by the window. Every time a delivery truck passes, it sits in the chair and sighs loudly, like it's filling out a form.

37

My neighbor's hamster learned to open the cage door. Not to escape. To let the OTHER hamster in. Now they have a two-hamster situation and my neighbor is very upset.

46

My neighbor's dog learned to open the back door. Now every time I step outside to take the trash, I hear a tiny 'thank you' from the other side.

13

My neighbor's parrot learned to say 'the mailman is a thief' and now delivers that message every morning at seven sharp.

17

My neighbor's cat keeps knocking over the plants on my balcony.

21

My goldfish learned how to open the window latch.

56

Why did the dog refuse to run in the park with his owner?

23

Why did the cat refuse to play fetch with the laser pointer?

42

My hamster escaped his cage during the middle of the night again.

24

My neighbor's dog barked all night long.

23

My dog insists on playing fetch even when we are just sitting in the living room.