22

I walked into a bar and said, 'Give me a drink that tastes like the moment you're in the cereal aisle, you've been there forty-five minutes, you've picked up every box, put it back, picked it up again, and the person behind you has been standing in silence so long you can hear their internal monologue.'

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I walked into a bar and said, 'I'll have a drink that tastes like the moment you finally sit down at the restaurant, the waiter says Can I get you started, and you realize you left your phone — and your reservation confirmation — at home.'

76

I walked into a bar and said, 'Give me a drink that tastes like the moment you're at a restaurant, you've just said I'll have the water please, and the waiter writes down sparkling.'

42

I walked into a bar and said, 'I'll have a drink that tastes like the moment you realize you left the stove on.' The bartender poured me a whiskey and said, 'You want something smoky, or something that makes you want to run outside and check?'