Family Jokes

7

I told my kids they could be anything they wanted.

10

My wife asked me to stop singing Wonderwall.

53

My toddler just figured out how to open the baby gate.

23

My mother-in-law said she'd dance on my grave.

28

My kid asked why we never go anywhere fun.

51

I told my wife I felt like a deck of cards.

59

My parents called and said turn down the music.

73

My sister said she wanted to marry someone just like Dad.

70

Why don't dads ever go bald?

20

My wife accused me of being immature.

63

My uncle always said, "Go big or go home."

8

My wife says I have two major faults.

45

My grandma started walking five miles a day when she was 60.

59

My dad told me he was going to build a car out of spaghetti.

39

My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo.