One-Liners Jokes

8

I bought a self-help book on how to stop worrying.

6

I gave my problems a name tag.

51

I decided to stop using my phone before bed.

14

My alarm clock asked me if I needed another reason to wake up.

56

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

80

I tried to tell a joke about a boomerang.

13

I'm great at multi-tasking.

84

I'm reading a book about the history of glue.

19

My neighbor told me he found a talking dog.

8

I'm really good at predicting the future.

23

My doctor told me I needed to cut down on my sugar intake.

84

My friend told me I was delusional.

10

I started a new diet.

36

My friend bet me I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti.

53

My friend thinks he's a great pool player.