Dating Jokes

8

On our third date, she told me she was 'really into guys who are consistent.' I said, 'I'm very consistent. Every single Tuesday I forget to bring a jacket.' She said, 'That's not consistent, that's a pattern of forgetting.' I said, 'It's consistent forgetting. Same day, same result. Very reliable.'

29

On our second date, he told me he was 'really into women who are organized.' I said, 'I color-code my spice rack.' He said, 'That's... a lot.' I said, 'I also have a color-coded system for how I arrange the spice rack. The color-coding has its own color-coding.'

25

On our second date, he told me he was 'really into women who are independent.'

68

On our first date, she told me she was 'really into guys who are decisive.'

10

She told me she was 'really into guys who are adventurous.'

19

On our first date, he told me he was 'really into spontaneity.'

47

On our second date, he told me he was 'the kind of guy who remembers small details.' I said, 'That's sweet.' He said, 'You said you were allergic to shellfish on our first date. I made sure the restaurant has no shrimp in the kitchen.'

57

On our third date, she told me she was 'really into guys who are emotionally available.' I said, 'I'm very emotionally available. I cried during a car commercial last week.' She said, 'That's... a start.'

23

My date told me she was 'really into guys who are good with their hands.' I said, 'I'm a carpenter. I'm very good with my hands.' She said, 'That's great, show me.'

37

On our second date, she told me she was 'really into guys who make plans ahead of time.'

82

My date told me she was 'a very low-maintenance person.' I said, 'That's great, I'm the same.' She said, 'I don't need much. Just a guy who remembers what I said in the first five minutes of the conversation.'

10

On our first date, she told me she was 'a very busy person.' I said, 'What do you do?' She said, 'I have a lot of responsibilities.' I said, 'Like what?'

5

She told me she was 'really into people who are comfortable in their own skin.'

16

On our first date, he told me he was 'a very grounded person.'

37

She told me she was 'really into meaningful conversations.' I said, 'Me too.' She said, 'So tell me about your deepest fears.' I said, 'That I'll run out of things to say before the check arrives.' She said, 'That's not deep.'