School Jokes

42

My kid came home and said, 'Teacher made us write about our feelings.' I said, 'What did you write?' He said, 'I was hungry, then I was less hungry, then I was hungry again.' I said, 'That's not a paragraph.'

47

My son's teacher called and said he'd been 'very opinionated during the reading circle.'

71

My daughter's teacher called to say she'd been 'very vocal during the fire drill.'

41

My son's teacher called and said, "He had a very interesting response to the essay prompt." I said, "That's great! What was the prompt?" She said, "Write about a time you felt proud."

15

My daughter's teacher sent a note saying she "participated enthusiastically in the class discussion about the water cycle." I called and said, "That's wonderful! What did she contribute?"

75

My son's teacher called and said he 'has a very unique approach to group work.' I said, 'That's wonderful! What's his approach?' She said, 'He builds a block tower, sits behind it, and says, I'm in charge of strategy. He has not spoken a single word in three weeks. His group has finished four projects. He has not touched any of them.'

7

My daughter came home and said, 'Teacher said I'm a classroom disruptor today.' I said, 'What did you do?' She said, 'I told a joke during silent reading.' I said, 'That's not a disruption, that's a public service.' She said, 'Teacher said I made three kids laugh and she lost control of the room. She used the word lost. Like the room was a lost cause.'

12

My son's teacher sent a note saying he 'demonstrated creative problem-solving.' I called and said, 'That sounds wonderful! What did he solve?'

19

My daughter came home and said, 'My teacher said I'm a natural leader.' I said, 'That's wonderful!'

51

My daughter raised her hand in class and said, 'Teacher, I have a question.' The teacher said, 'Go ahead.' My daughter said, 'Can I go to the bathroom?' The teacher said, 'Yes.'

19

My son's teacher called and said he 'asked a very thoughtful question during story time.' I said, 'What did he ask?'

61

My son's teacher sent a note saying he 'asked why the homework is due on Monday if we're not in school until Tuesday.' I called and said, 'And what did you tell him?' She said, 'I said, Because the weekend is for rest, not for you to exist.' He said, 'But I was resting.'

33

My daughter came home and said, 'My teacher said I write with passion.' I said, 'That's a compliment!' She said, 'Yeah, but she also said and also a lot of extra ink. I think she meant the same thing.'

46

My son's teacher sent a note saying he 'needs to work on following directions.' I called and said, 'What are the directions?' She said, 'Sit down, open your book to page forty-two, and write the answer to number seven.' I said, 'And did he do that?' She said, 'Yes. But he did it while standing on his chair, eating a granola bar, and humming a song at full volume.'

54

My daughter came home and said her teacher told the class, 'If you don't know the answer, you can always say you'll look it up.' My daughter said, 'I said that to every single question.' The teacher said, 'That's fine, but you also said it to the question What is two plus two, and then added I'll look it up in a different universe.'