School Jokes

57

My daughter said her teacher told the class, 'Children who are disruptive will have to sit in the back.' My daughter raised her hand and said, 'I'm not disruptive, I'm just enthusiastic.' The teacher said, 'Enthusiastic is a form of disruptive.' My daughter said, 'Then I'm a very enthusiastic disruptor.'

30

My son said his teacher told the class, 'If you don't understand the assignment, raise your hand.' He raised his hand. She said, 'Great. Now do the assignment.' He said, 'I still don't understand the assignment.' She said, 'Then raise your hand again.'

46

My son's teacher called to say he 'asked a question that made the whole class stop talking.' I said, 'That's incredible! What did he ask?' She said, 'The lesson was about fractions. He asked, So if I eat half a sandwich, is the other half still a sandwich? Or is it now a leftover sandwich? Because I feel like the sandwich is grieving.'

13

My daughter's teacher called to say she 'solved a problem before the class was finished.' I said, 'That's amazing! What was the problem?' She said, 'She solved the problem of not having to do the problem. She put the worksheet in her backpack and said, I did it in my head.'

64

My son's teacher called and said, 'He's a very physical learner.'

17

My daughter came home and said her teacher told the class, 'If a math problem seems too hard, try breaking it into smaller steps.'

55

My son's teacher sent home a note saying he 'needs to learn to share the crayons with his classmates.'

38

My daughter came home and said her teacher asked the class to 'write a letter to someone who inspired them.'

81

My daughter's teacher called to say she 'asked a very thoughtful question during the lesson.' I said, 'That's great, what was it?' She said, 'Her lesson was about the water cycle. She asked, "So does the cloud get sad when it rains?"'

52

My son's teacher called to say he 'dominates the group work.' I said, 'That's wonderful, is he a natural leader?' She said, 'No. He's the only one who does anything.'

62

My daughter's teacher called to say she was 'very opinionated about classroom arrangements.' I said, 'That's... a lot for a seven-year-old.'

77

My son's teacher sent a note saying he 'struggles with multi-step instructions.'

22

My son's report card said he 'brings a unique energy to the classroom.' I asked the teacher what that meant. She said, 'He brought a live frog on Tuesday and a hairdryer on Thursday. Both were uninvited.'

83

My daughter came home and said her teacher gave the class a 'show and tell.' She showed a rock. The teacher said, 'Tell us about it.' My daughter held it up and said, 'It's a rock. It's been a rock for a very long time.'

58

My son's teacher called about a 'behavioral incident' in class. I braced myself.