School Jokes

70

My daughter's teacher told me she 'thinks very creatively.' I asked what that meant.

56

My daughter's teacher sent a note saying she 'tends to narrate her actions in real time.' I asked what that means. The teacher said, 'She walked to the water fountain, then said, I am now walking to the water fountain. Then she said, I am now at the water fountain. I am now drinking.'

57

My son came home and said his teacher gave the class a 'think-pair-share' activity. He thought for ten minutes, paired with the kid next to him for thirty seconds, and then shared his lunch. The teacher's note home said, 'He is very committed to the sharing portion.'

19

My son asked me to check his spelling test. He got one word wrong: 'beautiful' — he wrote 'beutiful.' I looked at it for a long time.

59

My daughter came home and said, 'Teacher said I have a gift for language.' I said, 'That's wonderful! What's the gift?'

45

My son's teacher sent home a note saying he 'gets very emotional during group projects.' I called the school to discuss it. The secretary said, 'Can I ask how old he is?'

82

My daughter asked me to sign her school permission slip for a field trip. I signed it. She said, 'You're supposed to write a comment.' I wrote, 'Yes, go to the museum.' She said, 'Other parents write things like I trust your judgment and Have a wonderful day.'

22

My kid asked why we have to learn the periodic table when we can just look up elements online.

56

My son's teacher sent home a note saying he 'participates in class by talking over the other students.' I called the school to complain.

19

My kid asked me to explain 'photosynthesis' for his homework. I said, 'It's when plants turn sunlight into food.' He processed this for a moment.

14

My kid came home and said his teacher told him to 'use his words.' He looked at me and said, 'I used all of them. I used the word "and" forty-three times.'

43

My daughter asked why we have to learn long division when calculators exist. I said, 'Because one day the power will go out.'

61

My son brought home a report card with a note that said 'needs to work on staying on task.' I looked at him and said, 'Well, that's the first time in his life a teacher and I agreed on something.'

57

My daughter asked me to check her essay on 'My Favorite Season,' and I noticed she wrote, 'I love winter because snow is free.'

37

My kid came home and told me the teacher made the whole class apologize to the fire extinguisher.